Failing while Falling

I know I'm a loser, a bottom feeder, and a decaying member of society that won't amount to jack s***. Some days  I actually believe that I can reach that place that I've imagined I'd be at; then other times I see no further than my nose. I am ruining my life. I know it's easy for the "sane" people to say "suck it up" and "deal with it" etc. But it's really frustrating to me when I can't reach the goals and ambitions that I've set for myself. I know, "just do it" right? I'm trying. I'm still not going to stop just because I've reached some major hurdles in the past six months. I'm redoing 8th grade math because I cannot go further in my algebra and chemistry studies because I've neglected my algebra textbook for months and months. It's my own fault, I get that. I'm just frustrated that I have to go back to square three when I should be beyond my years. Mom asked what book I was in and I told her I went back a few books. She said it's ridiculous. I know it is! But I need to know everything. I NEED to overachieve, that's the only way for me to succeed in anything I ever do. Whether is be working out, school, or work. I take forever to complete something because I have to make sure I'm fluent in what I'm doing.
My mind gets clouded a lot, I can't think straight or at all. I could sit on my bed or the couch and stare for hours and not amount to anything, but in my mind I think I'm making progress. I won't get far with that mindset or lack of ambition. I just am one of the worthless people you could ever meet.