Missing my soulmates

Lately I've been really missing my grams. My great-gram and my gram (dad's mom). I've been crying pretty much all day when I think about them.
I miss our conversations. I didn't get to know my gram too much because she was always busy and I regret that. Don't get me wrong, I spent a lot of time with her, it's just...I didn't get to know her at a deep-deep level that I have with my other grams.
 The best thing that I ever did was see her when I graduated in June 2011. She had a card for my sister and I. We went to her house and talked for a good hour about everything, just for fun etc. When we would leave we always hugged and said I love you. I wrote her a thank you note for my graduation card/money. I mailed it Friday. We lived in the same town so it arrived the next day. She died on Sunday. I was devastated.
The only good thing was that she got my letter literally before she died and that we said I loved you at the last time seeing each other. My dad told me that she loved my letter. She told him that she was planning on having me spend a few nights and spend some time together. A knife to the heart would have hurt less. I cried my eyes out when he told me that. I craved time with her and knowing she wanted that made me cry more...even to this day. It pains me to think about it. I'm just, BEYOND glad she got it before she died. It literally means more to me than anything on this planet.

My great-gram. Good lord, she was my best friend. We divulged out souls to each other. We wrote letters for years and years. I still have them. Rereading them brings her back to me.
I could listen to her talk for days. Sometimes it felt that she could talk for days. I really enjoyed it. Hearing about the 20's 30's 40's 50's like it was yesterday really made the past seem real to me, though I wasn't there.
I miss her. When she got older I would "babysit" her (we wouldn't call it that). She made the best mashed potatoes and shrimp in the world. No one could top it.
I miss her company most of all. I always felt wanted around her. I miss her so much.

It's a tough day for me, I don't know what's wrong. I'm just really lost right now and they always were there for me.